Apparently uncontrollable crying, and I mean the kind of ugly crying you might cry if someone you loved was brutally murdered, is a preggo symptom. And, apparently, you don’t need much to trigger the waterworks. Just the way it starts, it stops, like nothing happened. Like it’s totally normal to have a complete breakdown, snot down your lips, hyperventilating, cause you tried tossing a napkin in the trash and missed. 

I’ve had quite a few of these crying attacks so I’m going to start noting them on my cell phone’s note app cause this can’t be normal. Is this pre-partum depression? Can all this crying cause postpartum depression?

Here are the reasons I cried (hysterically) throughout today…

  • My dog is probably going to love baby more than me. She’s always loved me most 
  • My husband is going to love baby more than me. I won’t be his “favorite person” anymore and I think this is good, it’ll make him a good dad. But I’ll be everyone’s last fav human.
  • I watched the trailer to our wedding video and caught the lyrics “Our beautiful baby looks just like you” from the background song and remembered saying to Daniel “this song is perfect for the trailer honey, well, except for the baby part but everything else is perfect.” And now I’m having a baby and it might look just like me. 
  • There are so my pregnant women right now uncontrollably crying for stupid reasons, just like me, and no one understands!!
  • What if I die giving birth? This baby won’t even know me. Plus I’ll be dead!
  • The women in Iran are being murdered for stepping into their power. So many women. Murdered because they’re tired of being told how and who they should be. They’re not even putting it on the news anymore. They’re alone out there. Dying. 
  • I’m tired of feeling like a “should” feel a certain way about this pregnancy stuff. I feel what I feel and that’s enough. But I don’t really know how I feel and that’s so confusing. 

That’s seven times I’ve cried today and the day isn’t over yet. This can’t be normal.